Killing Sarai by J.A. Redmerski

This story.
Is not one about romance. Is one about survival, resilience, strength under atrocious circumstances. Is a bout a girl copping with her new self after being so long under captivity; and a man, a merciless one at that, who finds he does have a heart after all. 

Sarai, a 23 year old who since the age of fourteen has been mentally and sexually abused by a demented mexican drug lord. A girl who was forced to become a woman too early, and not only a woman, but one who has nothing to loose nor fear. A woman who would do anything and everything to stay alive, and whose past has made her immune to fear or danger.
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“She has seen too much, experienced too much. She shows all the signs of having lost the ability to react to fear and danger appropriately. She is numb to danger and that in itself is a death sentence” Victor.

Victor, a killer. A ruthless and efficient one. A man of few words, who only acts out fast and effectively. He trusts no one, and Sarai is no exception. She’s just the “girl” that’ll guarantee he gets his pay. 

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“Like it or not, Victor is my only protection until I can get over that border and I’m going to stick with him for as long as I can regardless of my desperate need to get away from him, too.”Sarai.

Except things are not as easy as two labels. He’s not just a killer, she’s not just the traumatized runaway. These two, they are a world of depth and it wont be long until you’re right along with them, trying to escape, trying to decide, trying not to cry, failing, trying not to scream, trying not to feel, trying to block out that such a world exists. 

– “I don’t kill innocent people.”
Silence fills the small space between us.
– “No one is innocent,” I snap, surprising myself. “Least of all me. For years I let that disgusting murderer violate me and I never said no. I sat back and watched in silence as he and his men and that bitch sister of his beat and raped and sold the girls I became close to. I did nothing. I never screamed or fought back or stood up for any of them. Not a single one. (…) I am not innocent!” I roar.

Sarai is no innocent-delicate flower, just as Victor is not as heartless as he likes to think he is. But for all intents and purposes she does loose most of her innocence in front of our eyes, and he does act the part of the unmovable assassin for most the book. 

Two souls who could never be together, but who find solace in their shared loneliness.

—.—

There is no possible way to capture everything you go trough as a reader while having this book in your hands, just know that is as captivating as it gets. You go from angry to sad to content to hopeful to desolate right along with Sarai and Victor, and cannot help but feel overly-attached with the characters (I can’t stress that enough!).

This story is filled with too much everything in every right possible way. Is Brilliant. I believe, a masterpiece. A story that’ll stick to you. And even though it has no cliffhanger perse, you’ll be dying just as I am for the sequel. 

I COMPLETELY LOVED IT.

 

–.—-.–

I cannot say how proud I am of this author, btw; such a change in genres and yet she marvelously nailed them both. I never though by reading The Edge Of Never that I would get something like this from J.A., but I’m truly glad, and I just hope she sits down and delivers many, many more books like either of them (. ❤ preferably both)

Day (462) – The Passion Question

Better than new year’s resolutions. WHATS YOUR PASSION?

The Better Man Project ™

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What’s my passion?

What excites me?

What drives me?

What makes me push down the pedal?

What inspires me?

What motivates me?

What lights that fire?

What are the possibilities?

What could be the future?

What could I create?

What can I do?

What limits could I break?

Who could I inspire?

Whose hearts could I touch?

Can I do it?

You’re damn right I can.

– Evan Sanders

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Reflected in You , Sylvia Day. Crossfire series #2

“The simple fact was, Gideon and I were the best and worst things that had ever happened to each other.” Eva

It seems impossible to review this book properly. The feelings it awakes in you are too raw and real to even put them into words. This is a book that wraps you so tight around it, you’ll be gasping for breath while you’re willingly drowning along with the characters. 

My advice: Read Bared To You first. It gives enough clarification so as not to need to do it, but I still feel is crucial you start this romance from the beginning.

“‘You hit me the instant I saw you,’ he said gruffly. ‘I couldn’t look away. I wanted you immediately. Excessively. Almost violently’. ” Gideon

Gideon and Eva are both former sexual abuse victims. The consequences of their horrible experiences have left them with some severe emotional and psychological damage. In the first book we get to see how these two embodied to perfection the meaning of phrases like “meant to be”, “obsessed with each other”, “love at first sight”, “co-dependent relationship”, and others. On this one, we have it back, only this time we have two broken characters that fight to stay together despite of everything, even themselves. The issues with their past are dealt differently by the two, and essentially is their different way of copping with their demons what threatens to tear them apart or ultimately destroy them.

The only thing they have in common is the ever present need to make love, fuck, have sex. But while Eva talks about her issues openly, Gideon remains silent, and that makes them hurt and is the most significant issue in the whole book. He hurts for not being able to open up. She does because though she trusts him explicitly, she does need to know him better, to be left inside. 

“Sex was how he showed me what he was feeling. He could say with his body what he couldn’t with words, and my lust for him was how I proved my faith in us, something he needed to feel connected to me” 

I find it impossible to describe their fundamental “need” for the other. Luckily for you, Sylvia Day does an exceptional job making you understand it. And it feels so real, you end up crying the tears Eva or Gideon shed. It is so agonizingly hurtful for one to be not only your partner’s salvation, but their downfall too. So you get one hell of a journey while they try to solve their problems while other await and surface.

It is impossible not to get in too deep with this story, but it was definitely the end what left me after I finished reading it -still am- feeling like a chunk of me was put on hold until the 3rd book is released.

 

THIS BOOK IS WORTH OF EVERY APPRAISAL EVER MADE TO IT.

The writing, was perfect for me. The character’s development too. The story, the way things moved along, how they are in their own way open with the other, the rawness of their feelings, the every-single-second I spent reading it, every tiny thing was perfect for me.

I don’t know if I was the only one to get so wrapped around in it, I don’t really care either to be honest. I can only say I LOVED IT, I LOVED IT, I LOVED IT.

 

I wrote this review several months ago on GoodReads , but since I’m on to the next one I felt like posting it here. Hope you try it out and share with me how you felt about it! xo