The Dark Light of Day by T.M. Frazier

 

After all, we all have darkness within us.
Some of us more than others.

I don’t know if to give this book five stars for Magnificent, or one for TOODANGMUCH

The book stars slow, with a semblance of your regular dark novella.. But as you go on you find yourself with an event that makes you loose all faith in humanity. Period. I knew it was going to be dark, but those twists just, plain, fuck you up in the head and in your heart.

Bout The Book:
This is the story of a broken girl, destroyed mentally spiritually and physically by the hands of her own parents and other happenings in her life. She can’t even stand touch from other people because it burns her.
The things she has gone through are straight out of some sick nightmare.

And how along her way, a path marred by awful events, she meets this blue eyed badboy Jake.

Jake, a boy strongly wronged by his father, but more than that: a person, a guy, a man, who decided to be a killer. Not so much in the romantic I-have-a-twisted-hero-complex variety, but more in the It-makes-me-feel-good-to-kill-bastards sense.

I fell asleep that night in the arms of a killer. I’d never slept better.

The perfect portrait of Jake and Abby
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(I took this image from the SmittensBookClub, they have nothing to do with my review)

Sick, twisted Abby was in love with the sick, twisted, beautiful Jake.

They have this instant connection you should be aware of. They belong.
On normal instances this is a big let down, but put yourself in their messed up shoes, and it’s understandable. It kinda fits. It makes sense.

We were just us. Broken and bruised. Fucked up and messy. And together we were everything we never thought we could be. We didn’t need sweet and gentle. I didn’t need to be coddled.
I needed Jake, and he gave himself to me just as I gave myself to him.

There are many matters in this book worth thinking about on your own and analyzing. But the main query is always:

How could broken plus broken ever equal whole?
I don’t know how. But is does.

And I should also point out, that for me this book was more about Abby and her life, what she goes through, how she deals, how she loves, how she fights, how she’s so, so strong. Her romance with Jake is like icing on a cake, a necessary up point, he’s an interesting character that gives her strength and at times reinforces her.
But over all, I feel like this is the story of how Abby, the girl from the wrong side of life, finds there is light in darkness.

~~
As I am writing this review I have to sacrifice several of my comments and thoughts in order to advise you, that if you think your heart can take it, do it. Grab this in the comfort of a secluded place in your house where you can cry and die without disruption and experience all that is Abby’ life.
It isn’t pretty, it doesn’t really give you much hope, the heartache gets deep, but in some twisted sick way sometimes we need this sort of book (like once a year) for our personal growth. To be thankful. To be aware. To feel.

After all,
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Is there a happy ending, at least, you may be wondering?
Maybe..

I have to say:
Had I known what I know now would I have read it a first time again?
Yes. 
But, now that I did, will I pick it up again?
No.
Will I ever pick up another book from this author? 
Probably, but very carefully.
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Raw by Belle Aurora

TEN FUCKING HEARTBREAKING FUCKING STARS

>> A lot of cuss words are coming so shut your impressionable eyes if you get offended by it <<

~I’m writing these lines as I just put down this book and I am still crying like a little bitch~ 


Did I know what this book was a bout before picking it up? Yes.
Did reviews warned me about some heart-break part? Yes.
Was I warned it was fucking RAW? YES.
Did I, knowing am a tender soul with a sensible heart stopped myself from reading it? I tried. 
Did I believe it was going to be that bad? NO.
Did I listen to the warnings? NO!
Do I regret it? 
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ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT


— 

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“There’s something about Twitch.
He’s just…raw.
Everything about him is raw. And gritty. And unbound.
He’s a raging fire. And I’m a fragile moth fluttering into the flame.

Sooner or later, I’m going to get burned. I know this.

Will I even survive the heat?”


STORY:

It starts creepily. Really creepily, but you’ll get over that fast enough. Later is all about Lexi wanting him with all her might..

Twitch
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“What you want me to be…I can’t ever be. It’s not me.” My face turns cold. “I’m the villain in this story.”

Now see, this for me, is the story of how a Sociopath is irrevocablyobsessed-consumed-inlove-inlust with a woman and stalks her.
And how said woman knows about it, and likes it.
A story about how she falls in love with him, and how in his own way, he’s deadly in love too.
A story of love gone wrong


He’s BAD. Simple as that. In every sense of the word, don’t get hopeful. He’s bad in the “he can kill you and smile while washing his hands off your blood” sense. Bad. 
But Oh, So, Fucking, GOOD to/with Lexi.. 
Or at least he tries. At times reluctantly, at times consciously, always heartwarmingly..

She, she’s the epitome of a Good Girl. not that I’m stereotyping her. But, really, she is. A goody-goody. A save-the-kids, end world hunger and universalize single handedly world peace; kind of Gal.
But still she wasn’t a pushover. She wanted Twitch so she did what she needed to do to get him. She demeaned herself some, as much as she lashed out the truth to his face, but mostly she tried and gave it all to him.
I liked her. 
She wanted to save him? Just have him? Just love him? Just understand him?
I don’t think it matters. 


She’s in fucking love with her meanassed Stalker.
The same one who can be so torturously wonderful as he can be a terrifying monster.
The one who won’t let her go.

Not that she minded, she was all in, in that crazy dynamic.. And I was right there with her wanting him.

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Except this is NOT a Happy Love Story.


There is constant heartache

  I don't feel alright,in spite of 
these comforting sounds you make.
I don't feel alright because 
you make promises that you break.




You have a guy that’s just broken, damaged without repair
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A woman set out by herself for heartbreak
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But a LOVE STORY NONETHELESS

“Love is love. It don’t discriminate. And it sure as fuck don’t wait ‘til you’re ready for it.” Twitch 


HOT Factor you may be wondering?
“Number three, you’re so fucking hot when you get worked up that I would really like for you to suck my cock. And when I say I would really like that, I mean suck my cock, Lexi. Now.” 

Yeah, that’s Twitch. The things they’re into I wasn’t into until I started picturing them with him. 



And so I started getting comfy in between the dysfunction..
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But THEN I just knew
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I knew it was coming..
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And so everything started breaking!
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Not that it was easy before but on those last pages, I realized
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Just 

Ok


The FEELS

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~I’m now just pouting every 30 seconds by this point, if you were wondering ~


But the truth is, this book is worth it.. I can’t really pinpoint something, is just .. is the most bittersweet feeling… ever to be had while finishing a book.. You are inmensly sad and angry and done with life and love and puppies, but at the same time IT WAS FUCKING WORTH IT.
– That being said by someone who ONLY believes in HEAs, so take that in mind..
So, so worth it!!

Because the ending, is just not what you’re expecting…

READ THIS FUCKING BOOK. RIGH NOW. 
BUT BE PREPARED.

TEN FUCKING HEARTBREAKING FUCKING STARS

 

Undeniable by Madeline Sheehan

Edited because I had to “moderate it”. Sorry if I offended anyone.

Oh my effing god.
That’s the only thing that comes into my mind as I’m thinking ‘bout how to review this book.
Oh My effing God.

This story, almost every aspect of it, goes against every moral principle I believe I possess. I cannot even begin to name for you how many things are flat-out awfully wrong in it. It’s sick, it is twisted, it is heartbreaking, it’s mind effing, it is impossible to put down. Oh, and it is coarse, vulgar, and probably more than 40% of it is cussing.
I spent half this angsty book crying and the other one bewildered, mostly both at the same time. I also got angry, sobbing-sad, confused, disconcerted, and all through it I was hoping so, so hard on a happy ending for this two, I barely even have the energy to go to sleep now.
I kid you not, I don’t know how I ended up loving it because it is not a pretty story and Eva said so right from the start, believe her ladies and gentlemen “it is downright ugly”. It’s dark. I’m sorry I’m just a bit frazzled and head and feelings all over the place right now, I even think my spirit took off a while ago. The definition I’m looking for this book might be Intense. But it does not cut it, doesn’t even begin to. So if my review is a bit all over the place, you read it and then try to make a coherent review.
You have Eva, sweet strong-headed biker gang princess. And Duce, bad-ass ass-whole, the epitome on everything you should not want in a man, except he kind of is since he, in his own way, loved Eva all along. But it had so many issues bothering me, starting with the cheating; I can take verbal slaps –until a certain point- but cheating in my face? Uh, uh. Around me? Nei, nei. Cheating on me while you bitch slap me verbally and show no love unless you’re fucking me which is every four years or so? Do not think so. But ok, I have strong issues against cheating and you may not, so I’ll tell you a bit more about it: if you’re thinking about reading this book, try grasping inside your head right from about now, it contains rape, drugs, blood, cold-hearted decisions, calling every woman a b-tch, scenes that’ll make your blood evaporate thinking what you’d do had that been happening to you.
But there’s the catch. Exactly there. This is not my world, or your world we are talking about. This is their world. The one we were introduced at from the very beginning, but if you’re anything like me, did not pay much attention, only thought it was intense and ugly and moved on, I’m telling you right now: You should not. You should not forget this is a world with a bunch -miles long- lot of codes far different from our own –at least mine’s-.So I ended up copping, I understood Eva was on the same page as Duce, and all the other people around, therefore it was kind of alright. Me? I was freaking out, but, whatever.
You have pretty much every dark aspect you can put on a book and still being able to mark it as romance. And I’m talking, hair thin line here.
Still I gave it five stars on Goodreads, and you’ll be wondering why since I’ve probably read about 200 Harlequin books, am a die hard romance lover, HEA sucker, hearts and flowers and pink and though alphas also sweet love. Well, I have absolutely no freaking clue as to the exact reason, but when you end up so emotionally spent but got to have your HEA (Sorry if that spoils it for you, if it were me I’d need that hope to hold on to, to get through this book), you lost precious hours of sleep willingly just ‘cause you could absolutely not put it down, lived this awfully soul wrecking of a path and even so it still left you this tiny beautiful feeling that makes you believe it will all be alright, then the book and the story and the author and the hours you spent deserve fucking 5 stars. Not sure I’ll be coming close to another one of Madeline’s book any time soon though.
Night. And, OMFG.