Raw by Belle Aurora

TEN FUCKING HEARTBREAKING FUCKING STARS

>> A lot of cuss words are coming so shut your impressionable eyes if you get offended by it <<

~I’m writing these lines as I just put down this book and I am still crying like a little bitch~ 


Did I know what this book was a bout before picking it up? Yes.
Did reviews warned me about some heart-break part? Yes.
Was I warned it was fucking RAW? YES.
Did I, knowing am a tender soul with a sensible heart stopped myself from reading it? I tried. 
Did I believe it was going to be that bad? NO.
Did I listen to the warnings? NO!
Do I regret it? 
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ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT


— 

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“There’s something about Twitch.
He’s just…raw.
Everything about him is raw. And gritty. And unbound.
He’s a raging fire. And I’m a fragile moth fluttering into the flame.

Sooner or later, I’m going to get burned. I know this.

Will I even survive the heat?”


STORY:

It starts creepily. Really creepily, but you’ll get over that fast enough. Later is all about Lexi wanting him with all her might..

Twitch
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“What you want me to be…I can’t ever be. It’s not me.” My face turns cold. “I’m the villain in this story.”

Now see, this for me, is the story of how a Sociopath is irrevocablyobsessed-consumed-inlove-inlust with a woman and stalks her.
And how said woman knows about it, and likes it.
A story about how she falls in love with him, and how in his own way, he’s deadly in love too.
A story of love gone wrong


He’s BAD. Simple as that. In every sense of the word, don’t get hopeful. He’s bad in the “he can kill you and smile while washing his hands off your blood” sense. Bad. 
But Oh, So, Fucking, GOOD to/with Lexi.. 
Or at least he tries. At times reluctantly, at times consciously, always heartwarmingly..

She, she’s the epitome of a Good Girl. not that I’m stereotyping her. But, really, she is. A goody-goody. A save-the-kids, end world hunger and universalize single handedly world peace; kind of Gal.
But still she wasn’t a pushover. She wanted Twitch so she did what she needed to do to get him. She demeaned herself some, as much as she lashed out the truth to his face, but mostly she tried and gave it all to him.
I liked her. 
She wanted to save him? Just have him? Just love him? Just understand him?
I don’t think it matters. 


She’s in fucking love with her meanassed Stalker.
The same one who can be so torturously wonderful as he can be a terrifying monster.
The one who won’t let her go.

Not that she minded, she was all in, in that crazy dynamic.. And I was right there with her wanting him.

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Except this is NOT a Happy Love Story.


There is constant heartache

  I don't feel alright,in spite of 
these comforting sounds you make.
I don't feel alright because 
you make promises that you break.




You have a guy that’s just broken, damaged without repair
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A woman set out by herself for heartbreak
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But a LOVE STORY NONETHELESS

“Love is love. It don’t discriminate. And it sure as fuck don’t wait ‘til you’re ready for it.” Twitch 


HOT Factor you may be wondering?
“Number three, you’re so fucking hot when you get worked up that I would really like for you to suck my cock. And when I say I would really like that, I mean suck my cock, Lexi. Now.” 

Yeah, that’s Twitch. The things they’re into I wasn’t into until I started picturing them with him. 



And so I started getting comfy in between the dysfunction..
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But THEN I just knew
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I knew it was coming..
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And so everything started breaking!
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Not that it was easy before but on those last pages, I realized
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Just 

Ok


The FEELS

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~I’m now just pouting every 30 seconds by this point, if you were wondering ~


But the truth is, this book is worth it.. I can’t really pinpoint something, is just .. is the most bittersweet feeling… ever to be had while finishing a book.. You are inmensly sad and angry and done with life and love and puppies, but at the same time IT WAS FUCKING WORTH IT.
– That being said by someone who ONLY believes in HEAs, so take that in mind..
So, so worth it!!

Because the ending, is just not what you’re expecting…

READ THIS FUCKING BOOK. RIGH NOW. 
BUT BE PREPARED.

TEN FUCKING HEARTBREAKING FUCKING STARS

 

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Ruin by Rachel Van Dyken

I started this book on the quest for a hot bad college guy..
Boy did I go wrong!
Boy do I abso-effing-lutely do not regret it!!..
Wanna know what it is about?

Start of College. An innocent girl carying a heavy loss. A golden boy carying a heavy load. Helplessness. Beautifulness. Trying. Deep, gorgeous souls. Love. Wisdom. FEELINGS.

Oh, but I know you care
I know it is always been there
But there is trouble ahead I can feel it
You were just saving yourself when you hide it
Yeah I know you care
I see it in the way you stare
As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it
I’ll be saving myself from the ruin ..

 

That's mostly all about this book. 
Except there is so much more.
I mean, THE FEELS.

“Every time you close your eyes, regardless of where I am or where you are, I want you to remember this.” His fingers laced with mine and then he pressed my hand against my own chest. “Wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, alive or dead, young or old, my heart will always be with yours. Every beat you feel against your fingertips…” His finger tapped against my chest, once, twice. “…is me calling out to you. It’s you returning the call. It’s us talking, communicating, bonding, sharing. Living — Kiersten, it’s us living. There may come a time in your life when your heart will have to beat for mine… but you’ll have to carry on if I can’t. Just like there may come a time when I have to do the same for you. But in the end, one of us will always carry on this.” He tapped again. “So there’s never a reason to be afraid of running out of time — because we keep our own.”

Do I need to say more?
Just do yourself a favor and go pick some tissues, make the time on your calendar, grab some hot cocoa, and immerse yourself in a story that both teaches you about life and yourself as it gives you warm and raw feelings without depressing you.
Wonderful work Rachel Van Dyken!

Love. Sex. Repeat. by Alessandra Torre

This is the story of a free minded woman, a woman who loves sex because it feels good and doesn’t have the same morals as most.. A woman who has two men in her life. Two men she Fucks. Loves. And repeat.
“And that is how it is. I fuck Stewart, I fuck Paul, and they both know about it. And the more I fuck one (…) the more competitive, aggressive, loving, they become. It is a constant, whirling sea of sex. I love it, and they love it.”

It wasn’t easy for me. I have a strict code of morals very different to the one Maddison so carefreely enjoys. But there is a point in every book where you don’t agree with the leading character, or things that happen are just too out of your comfort zone, that you have to decide. You get to say “Screw this, it isn’t worth the knot in my stomach” or you get to say “Oh, eff my morals, let’s see how this goes”.
At the fear of being obvious I won’t point out which one I chose this time..
And, anyway, the bottom of it is…

“I understand that you hate me. That you curse me for my greed. But if I am okay with it, and they are okay with it, how is it anyone else’s right to judge?”

So see, she is with two types of men: Stewart, the business guy; the one who’s first priority is work, and also his first love is work, and almost the only thing he does is, well, work. Paul on the other hand, is a surfer; a lay down guy, the one who is always there, who loves Maddison even more than he loves the sea.

“Their love. Paul loves me with unconditional warmth, his affection public and obvious, his arms pulling me into his warmth, his mouth littering my body with frequent kisses. Stewart loves me with a tiger’s intensity, his need taking my breath away, his confidence in our relationship strong enough to not be bothered by the presence of another man. He stares into my soul as if he owns it, and shows his love with money, sex, and rare moments of time.”

In fact, they are so different that it is Stewart who proposes her to have another boyfriend to keep her cherished, Paul, well..

“While Stewart wants me to have a second man to keep me off the streets, to keep me from being lonely, to keep me in his life – Paul accepts that I have a second man because it was what he signed up for. And now, as in the beginning, he’d rather have half of me than none of me.”

“I get that you don’t understand. That you wonder how someone could possibly be aroused, turned on by the thought of something so forbidden. But often, it is the forbidden that is the hottest, and the depraved that is the most arousing.”

You get to live the beginning of this story with flashbacks, and understand a little better what goes on with Maddison’s head, as well. You get to live their agreement. You get to experience this sort-of threesome. You get to fall or hate Stewart or Paul. You get to be Maddison at some point, because the writing floats away so smoothly you don’t even realize, she sucked you in.

But you also know it isn’t going to last forever. How can it possibly? There is the ever present question of, who will she choose? What would be the circumstance? Will they meet? Would she be able to keep them both?

“Life is too unpredictable to plan for that. What I do know, as I watch this beautiful man sleep, his face relaxed and body still, is that I love him. Just as much as I love Paul. And that, one day, will be a problem.”

This author’s writing style is pretty good. Everything just happens and you keep going. And you get the perfect amount of information about everything, the exact amount needed to understand, connect and enjoy without getting too overwhelmed, sick or mad. She is so good writing that you almost don’t care so much for the life they live, you (almost) feel like it isn’t all that bad. You may even get turned on about it (hey, it didn’t happen to me but many people did love it).

What I have failed to mention is the woman watching it all from afar. The other woman who holds both Stewart and Paul closely to her heart. The one who discovers their secret. The one who hates Maddison. The woman who will bring with her The Biggest TWIST!

There are several of those, actually. You get to choose which one is bigger. There aren’t big jumps of the heart, but you definitely will be sitting up tenser.

To be fair, and to keep it real, I have to say this was a solid four out of five stars for me. You may rest in peace, this ends with a HEA that works for everyone. At least I think so. But I had the misfortune of reading the Epilogue. I have to say, it left me with a queasy stomach. Did not like. Three stars.

I have a feeling Alessandra Torre likes to play the Bitch. Likes to be questioned and judged.
Good thing with her book at least, it all worked out for the better.